Leaving
by edderali
Summary: Deb's leaving County for Stanford. But meanwhile, Carter recruits her (Deb) for advice and support on when and how to tell Abby how much he cares about her (Abby). Carter extremely confused on what to do. Deb forced to take sides and support Carter. An
1. Default Chapter

Jing-Mei tugged lightly at his navy blue tie.

"Aw, come on, you know you want it…" she bantered playfully.

John Carter, M.D., looked deep into Jing-Mei's large brown eyes and cracked a slightly crooked smile."Fine," he said, taking the charts from her outstretched hand, "You know, you owe me big time…AND lunch."

She laughed, "Right," patting him once on the head, "now why don't you be a good little boy and run along and tend to those patients!" Gulping down her coffee, she tossed the styrofoam cup into the trash and opened the door, adding seriously, "But really, Carter, thanks for covering for me…I do owe you one."

"Hey just kidding, Deb.It's no big deal."

"No, really, Carter, I owe you big time."With that, she turned to go.

"But wait!" he said, holding her by the shoulder, "You still haven't told me what the urgent appointment is."

"A lunch date with Malucci."

"A lunch date with – what?Wait, but Deb…" But she had already gone, the lounge door closing shut behind her."Malucci?"

"Hey, Jing-Mei babe, how 'bout you and I catch some lunch together, eh?" grinned Dave Malucci as Jing-Mei walked by the front desk.He had his feet propped up on the desk and was reclining in the chair, hands behind his head, smacking his bubble gum loudly.

"When I'm in a coma, maybe."

Dave laughed. "I know you love me, babe…but really, what were you and Carter doing in there, huh?You guys were in there for a pret-ty long time…"

Randi, placing some files in one of the baskets, smacked Malucci across the side of the head. "What do you think they were doing, Dave?Get your mind out of the gutter."

Jing-Mei leaned in close to Dave's right ear and whispered lustfully, "We were making love…" then proceeded to slap him across the head as Randi had done. "God, we were just talking, okay, Malucci?"

"Okay, okay, doesn't anybody have a sense of humor anymore?" Dave said, raising his arms defensively, "And you guys really don't have to be so violent about it, okay?"

"Malucci!" Kerry Weaver's voice cut across the ER. "Head injury in Trauma 2. Go make yourself useful.And Dr. Chen, it's not like you to be loitering around."

"Oh, I have an important meeting to attend so Carter is tending to my patients."

"Well, good thing you found somebody to cover for you, but next time, you inform me first about any conflicts that arise, you understand?"

"Yes, Dr. Weaver."

"And moreover, if you want the Board to consider your application for Chief Resident under your circumstances, I suggest you spend as much time as possible here in the ER, so don't come back too late, you understand?"

"Yes, Dr. Weaver." Kerry nodded and hobbled off in the opposite direction.Jing-Mei had a puerile urge to stick her tongue out at the turned back."'If you want the Board to consider your application,'" she mimicked.God, she thought to herself, sometimes, that woman could sure be, well, blunt…Clasping her coat in her arms, Jing-Mei hurried out the sliding doors and into the parking lot.


	2. Lunch

Disclaimer: Shoot! I forgot to put this on the first chapter. Well, this goes for this entire story. I do not own any of these characters, except Deb's uncle, so… uh…I wish I owned them though…

And sorry, as of yet, I don't think Deb and Malucci are going to get together, but keep on reading please. And review , of course. This is my first fic, so help out.

Carter came out of the doctor's lounge, fiddling with his tie. " A lunch date with Malucci?" he mumbled.

"What? You have a lunch date with Malucci?" Abby said, running up behind him. "Wow, Carter, I never knew. I mean, I knew you had a thing for blondes, but not that kind of blonde if you know what I mean…"

"Very funny, Abby. No, no, not me, Deb…I mean, Dr. Chen."

Abby threw him a quizzical glance, waving to Kovac across the ER that she would be right there. "Jing-Mei has a lunch date with Malucci? You sure?"

"Course. She told me herself."

Abby knuckled Carter lightly on the head. "You sure she wasn't joking? Cause as far as I know, Malucci is on duty during lunch. I mean, he's right there. Why don't you ask him?" she said, as she hurried off to talk to Kovac.

Carter walked up behind Malucci, who was sticking a tongue depressor into a patient's mouth, and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Malucci, I was just wonderin -"

"Hey, Carter, could you talk to me some other time?" Dave asked, looking around nervously to make sure a certain redhead wasn't lurking about. "Cuz, uh, if Weaver sees me talking to you…well, let's just say that whatever stick's stuck up her ass, she'll take it and shove it up mine."

"That serious, huh?"

"Yeah, so, uh…"

"Just tell me, do you have a lunch date with Dr. Chen?"

Dave grinned, "Nah, I wish…besides, why would she? I thought she had the hots for you, eh, Carter?" He nudged Carter in the side and followed it with a rather obscene gesture.

Carter blushed. _God! Why am I blushing?_ "Hey, Dave, I think I hear Dr. Weaver coming," as he hurried away from a potentially weird conversation. He hope Dave hadn't seen him blush.

"Hey Carter, were you just -"

__

No such luck, Carter thought, as he ran to assist in a multiple GSW that had just been wheeled into the ER.

Dr. Chen placed her Jones New York coat over the back of the brocade chair and proceeded to hug the older man who had stood up from his seat to assist her. "Uncle David," she said, "it's been too long. Why don't you visit us more often here in Chicago?"

"My question is why haven't you visited me in California. Who likes dreary old Chicago anyway." He gave her a peck on the cheek, then, motioned for the waiter to bring some more bread and a menu.

After ordering their entrées, Uncle David clasped his hands together and peered at Jing-Mei. "So, how have your parents been?"

"Good. Still mad over the incident," she sad, indicating her stomach.

"Oh, the ill wind will pass soon enough. I'm talking to them tonight anyhow." He gave her a piece of bread. "But more importantly, have you decided? I mean, we are talking about California sun versus Chicago bleakness."

"And leaving my friends and colleagues…not that I don't want California. Don't tell me you came all the way here just to try to convince me?" 

"Nah, I'm just here to enjoy the non-sunny weather…"

"Uncle David…" Jing-Mei chided lightly.

"Look, I just need your decision. The Board is getting a little, well, impatient."

"It's just that leaving is a notion I'm going to have to get used to, you know. I'm not sure if it's a notion I want to know." She sighed, picking at her salad, as a waiter filled her water glass.

"Ah, I understand, but uh, you'll always make new friends in California," and laughing, he added, "besides, I know of many eligible young, SUCCESSFUL bachelors there. Besides, the pay at Stanford is more than you'll ever get at County General."

"Uncle David…you know it's not about the money."

"No, just the Chief Resident thing," he said matter-of-factly.

"Uncle David, you know the pressure…"

"I know that. What I want to know is if this is what you want, if this Chief Resident thing is really that important to you."

"It is. It is exactly what I want." Just like that, she had said it. No more weighing Chief Resident position at Stanford against the friends she had made in County since her return. But what if she would have gotten Chief Resident at County? No, Jing-Mei admonished herself, don't think about that.

Uncle David leaned across the table and clapped her on the shoulder. "Then, welcome to Stanford. We are more than willing to have you." He sipped his champagne. "Good thing for you the position was open, and of course, the fact that I could pull a few strings. You know this transfer is sort of unorthodox."

"Of course."

"I want to know this is what you want, FOR SURE. I don't want any regrets."

"County has nothing to offer." Jing-Mei stated clearly. "Just because I got pregnant, I have to make up all this damn work, and however much I love my work, I can't do it anymore. I'm just too tired. Trying to make it all up is just not worth it, and that's what Dr. Weaver wants - me on 24 hour shifts before she'll even present my application the Board." She laughed. "Besides, I don't think John Carter could stand being my subordinate, so I guess I'm also doing this to save him a lot of bitterness and grief."

"Jonathan Carter's grandson? Rich family. Why is Jr. Carter practicing medicine?"

"Why am I?"

Uncle David nodded in realization. "Ah, two peas in a pod…I see now. He's a good friend?"

"Yeah, I known him for quite a while."

"Yeah, well, don't get too attached, 'cause you're coming to Stanford, and I don't want any complications to arise during the transferal period. I pulled a lot of strings to do this. I personally don't want them snapping me in the face in the end." He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her reply.

She nodded.

"Good, oh, uh, here are the filet mignons. Eat up, Jing-Mei, you're looking a bit skinny…"


	3. Gossip

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters although I would like to

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters although I would like to.

Author's Note: This is my first fanfic, so please read and review.It would be greatly appreciated.

Also, I actually have not seen any of the later Season 7 episodes, so I'm not sure which nurses are still there and which are not.As a result, please bear with the fact that I might mention a nurse who is currently not there anymore or something like that.Thank you for your patience.

"Oooh, Weaver's on a rampage today," Chuny said, passing a file to Malucci.

"Isn't she everyday?" Dave sniveled.

"Nah, she is **definitely** mad today!" Randi said, popping a piece of gum into her mouth."I mean, haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?" came the collective response.

"The rumors."

"What rumors?" All the nurses and Malucci gathered around Randi and leaned in with anticipation, ignoring one of the patient's mother – a Mrs. Gilcreast who was demanding that someone take a second look at her daughter's infection.

"Well," Randi lowered her voice so as to not draw attention to the group that had amassed, "I heard that an ER doctor's leaving."

"So, why does Kerry have to be so mad," Malik said, shrugging his shoulders.

Randi punched him. "Well, obviously, because it is going to be really hard to find a good replacement at this time.Most doctors have settled their plans for next year.And we really can't afford to lose another doctor.I mean, we're busy enough as is."

"Who's it gonna be?Do you know?"

Randi shook her head, "Nah, but maybe –"

"I heard something…" Haleh popped in.

"What?" everybody asked.

"I think it might be Carter."

The group drew back in shock."Nah," and "No way," and "He would never leave us," came the replies."I mean, Carter's been here forever.He's part of the family.There's no way he's leaving."

"Yeah, well, all I know is that he can't be Chief Resident, and he sure ain't too happy about it…" 

"What do you mean? And how do you know?"

"Okay, I heard certain people talking, and apparently, Kerry won't even consider Carter's app 'cause of the…" she mimicked a hypodermic needle injection.

"Damn, that's harsh.I mean, he's been looking forward to this whole Chief Resident thing for what? Five, six, seven years?"

"So, who's up for it?"

"I think Dr. Chen's the prime candidate."

"Ha, that's gonna be fun-ny – watching Carter take orders from Chen."

"Right, very funny," Conni added, tilting her head, "especially when Carter's not gonna be around to throw a fit…"

Everybody was silent.

"But Carter –"

"What about Carter?"Carter had just stepped up to the front desk to talk to Mrs. Gilcreast who was still ranting and raving.

"Uh, well, uh…" Everybody threw one another nervous looks, all waiting for someone to say something.

After an awkward silence, Randi chuckled, "Heh. We were just discussing who was better looking – you or Kovac…"Obviously, her imagination wasn't working all that well, because the minute those words came out of her mouth, Randi knew she had made a big mistake.

"Heh, really?" Carter looked interested, "So, Dave, what's your call?"

Malucci drew back, giving Randi a death glare for putting him in such an awkward position.He snorted, "Well, of course, I'm the best looking…"

Randi decided to save Dave's ass."Carter, I say you, man.I mean, Kovac's dark, melancholy, suave, charming personality may work on some girls, but you're just a real puppy dog."

Lily laughed, "Nuh-uh. I mean, no offense to you, Carter, but Kovac's the man.How can you possibly resist those brooding eyes of his?He fulfills every girl's fantasy."

"Yeah, well, Kovac only has eyes for Abby."

"Well, so does –" But Dave had quickly clasped his hand over Lily's mouth, but Carter hadn't seen, since he had just been diverted by Mrs. Gilcreast again.

"So does who?" he asked turning back to the group.

"So do a lot of people.I mean, Malucci, you could have a thing for Abby, too, right?"

"Yeah, sure, but aren't we **totally** digressing here."

"Oh, shoot, Kerry's coming.Everybody run for cover…" Yosh said, diving behind the desk.

Carter paced back and forth on the pavement, making large gestures and speaking in a very agitated tone.Jing-Mei had been watching him walk to and fro and frankly, it had already made her very dizzy, even though, of course, it had only been about three minutes.

"Carter, could you please stop pacing?You're really making me terribly nervous."

"- I mean, what makes Kovac so appealing? Why does everybody like him over me?I mean –"

"Carter?Carter!" Jing-Mei practically shouted over the roar of the passing cars."You dragged me all the way out here **just** to ask what makes girls like Kovac more than you?"

Carter shrugged his shoulders. "Well, sorta."

"God, Carter, I hate to be insensitive to your problems, but honestly, I can't believe I'm wasting my break on this."

Carter quickly sat down on the bench beside her, stuffing his hands deep into his lab coat pockets."Look, Deb, you know I like Abby, right?"

Deb smacked her lips. "Hmmm, well, watching the way you act around her and Kovac and the whole Oklahoma road trip thing, I deduced that much…'

"But she still clings to Kovac.I mean, can't she see that we – she and I – are absolutely perfect together?I mean, what does she see in Kovac?He's –"

"He's charming, dark, mysterious, handsome, melancholy…"

"Yeah, yeah, I already got that this morning."

"But it's true!" Jing-Mei persisted. "He's beautiful."

Carter stared at her. "So, between him and me, on looks, who would **you** go for?"

"Hate to burst your bubble, Carter, but in that department, Kovac is way ahead of you." She had to be honest.

"But what about on personality?"

Deb looked at him with pursed lips, deep in thought."Well, I don't exactly know Kovac that well, but based on what I know of you, I still have to go with Kovac," she said, punching him lightly.She got up."Look, Carter, next time you need a compliment, you should know better than to come to me…" she said, half-smiling.

"Well, I couldn't exactly go to anybody else to discuss these problems.I mean, Abby and Kovac are definitely out; Mark and Corday are too busy with themselves; Malucci's a no; Cleo – I think she hates me, and Kerry –"

"Oh, okay, I get it, Carter.I'm the last resort, huh? Oooh, that is definitely the way to win a compliment from me…" she laughed and turned to go.

"Aw, but come on, Deb, just one eety beety compliment, **just** to get me through the day?" His puppy eyes were acting up again.

"Carter…" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Pul-lease."

_Not that puppy face again. Man! Why does he do that?_"Fine, fine…here, let's see," she said, tapping her index finger on her chin, then with a sigh, she launched into her "let's encourage Carter" speech, "Okay, by and by, Abby will realize that you are really the only person for her, because not only do the two of you need each other, you both complement one another in just the right places.Moreover, you really are such a puppy dog, so honestly, how could any girl resist?" Then added, "Good enough?"

"You really believe that?"

"Course, Carter," Jing-Mei replied, tugging at her stethoscope, "In fact, I'm depending on it."

"Huh?"

She got up and started to walk way.Tilting her head, she flounced her hair and said, "The sooner Abby dumps Kovac for you, the sooner I can get a piece of the hunk of Croatian hotness."

"Deb, you wouldn't…" _Deb could never do a thing like that… I mean, she's so, she's so…_

"I'll bed him like I did Rambo the Supernurse." She had this voluptuous look in her eyes.

_Then again, maybe she could…_"Deb, you're starting to scare me…I mean, that's so out of character for you…"

Jing-Mei laughed again."Look, Carter, there are things you don't know about me, but seriously," she said, scanning for just the right phrase.Then it hit her."You and Abby have been through so much together.You understand one another." She paused for dramatic effect. "Really, you guys are two peas in a pod."

"Two peas in a pod?You really mean it?"

Jing-Mei looked into those brown eyes again and half-sighed, remembering what her Uncle had said.'…ah, two peas in a pod…well, don't get too attached…'"Yeah, Carter, I really mean it."Just seeing the smile that lit up his face then was worth a ton of gold.She couldn't help smiling too."Now, I'll leave you to revel over it…" she said, heading back to the ER._Sometimes, talking to Carter could really be the crowning moment of the day_, she thought, as she walked through the sliding doors.

"Yeah, two peas in a pod…" she murmured under her breath.


	4. A Long Day

Disclaimer: I do not own any character of ER, so don't sue me…

Disclaimer: I do not own any character of ER, so don't sue me…

Author's Note: I've totally been ignoring the medical aspect of the ER, but it's all for the sake of the story. Besides, I am a little ignorant in that department, so please bear with me. Hope you like the story so far! Please read and review.

"Hey, uh, Abby, I was just wonderin' if we could talk sometime." There, he had said it, plain and simple. "You free during lunch?"

Abby placed the hypodermic needle back onto the plate. "Nope, not during lunch. I'm eating with Kovac. But I am free tonight. You good then?"

"Nothing with Kovac tonight?"

"He accidentally took the graveyard shift, so he's stuck here all night. I should stay to keep him company, but he won't mind if I –"

"Nah, nah, I mean, it's not even that big of a deal." He shrugged a shoulder. "I guess I just needed someone to talk to…just about…stuff…" He circled his foot nervously on the floor. He felt like he was in 11th grade again, asking Sara Carmichael to Junior Prom.

Abby nodded, "I understand. Um, when do you get off? Seven? Yeah, sure, we can talk then."

"In the lobby."

"It's as good a place as any." She smiled, her brown eyes twinkling. _God, she's beautiful…_

"Hey, thanks, Abby."

"Anytime, Carter. Look, I gotta go. I have something to take care of, so…"

"Right, right. I've got a patient in 3, so talk to you later." She nodded and walked off. Carter watched her figure until it disappeared around the corner, then sighed, and drew the curtain aside for the patient in 3. Mr. Radinsky had started to struggle again, and in his zealousness, smacked Carter across the face. Clutching his cheek, Carter ran out and waved to Dave.

"Dave, I've got a violent one in 3. Could you help out and get Malik to bring 10 mils of benzodiazepine."

After binding the guy to the beg, Dave looked at Carter and seeing no one else

around, burst out, "Carter, is it true you're thinking about leaving County?"

Carter looked up from the file, startled. "Were you talking to Abby?"

"So it's true? You're leaving?"

"Why would I do a thing like that?" Carter said, injecting Radinsky with the benzo.

"Well, Hal- I mean, somebody said that 'cause you're not being considered for Chief Res, you're –"

"I'm splitting? I do have a little integrity, Dave."

"Nah, I just wanted to make sure. I mean, I'd…we'd…hate to lose you, Carter."

"And I'd miss you too, Dave."

Malucci eyebrowed him. "Not as much as you'd miss a certain brunette nurse."

"How do you know?"

"Whoa, Carter, you've lost it…" Dave threw his hands in the air. "You didn't even bother to cover it up or deny it or…"

"Could you just tell me how you know?"

"Uh, word gets around."

"Even though I haven't even talked to Abby about it?"

"'Course. It's gossip, Carter. What do you expect?"

"I'm assuming you – or anybody else who knows – will do me the common courtesy of not letting Abby know before I do."

Dave laughed. "Hah, and when might that be?"

"Tonight."

"You're kidding, right? You're telling her?" Dave looked shocked. "You do realize she is going out with Kovac, right? I mean, I thought this was just a look-don't-touch sorta crush."

Carter sighed, just realizing he could have saved himself a lot of grief, if he had just denied it from the first, but… Now, he constantly had to worry that Abby was going to hear it from everybody else before he even got a chance. _God, I need a cigarette…_ "Hey, Malucci, take care of this one. I'm going outside for a breather."

"Hey, but…"

Carter got outside and stood against the wall, watching the people come in and out. He massaged his temples with his finger. Looking up, he saw Dr. Chen running toward the ER, the same long black cocktail dress and boots he had seen so many times peeking out from under her lab coat. "Deb, you're late," he sang, cracking a smile.

He expected her to make some hard comeback, but she waved him off. "Get off my back, Carter. You don't know the half of it." Seeing that look in her eyes, he knew to back off. He breathed in another gulp of cold air and followed her back into the ER. He watched her stop and look around for somebody, when Kerry voice cut through the ER. "Dr. Chen, in my office, **now**!" Carter saw Deb swallow hard and slink into Kerry's office.

"What was that about?" Malik said, as he watched Deb.

"I have no idea…What'd Deb do?"

"Anybody know what that was about?"

"Kerry's mad…what can I say?"

"Yeah, but Dr. Chen…"

"Maybe she killed a patient…" someone laughed.

Carter's eyes darkened, "Hey, that's not funny, okay? I mean, that was years ago…"

"Right, right, Carter. Don't be so touchy…jeesh…it was just a joke."

"Well," he replied, not even knowing what the hell he was saying, "it wasn't funny, okay?"

"Well, okay…" Malik said before muttering into Chuny's ear.

"Excuse me," an iron-gray haired man said, stepping up to the front desk. "Do you know where I might find a Dr. Kerry Weaver?"

Carter glanced at the man and said, a bit of annoyance still in his voice, "In her office."

"And where might that be?"

Carter looked up and heaved an impatient sigh. "Down that hall, to the –" Then he stopped and immediately, his face was a mixture of shock and joy. "Dr. Sands? Oh my goodness, I had no idea it was you just then. Oh my gosh, Dr. Sands, I must tell you how much I admire your work. I attended all your seminars and lectures when I was out in California. Truly inspirational."

"Why, thank you, uh… You can call me David. I find Dr. Sands much too old. And you are?"

Carter stuck out his hand. "Dr. John Carter, sir."

David's eyes widened slightly. "Aw, I see… Pleased to meet you."

"So, how may I help you, sir?"

"Well, I would like to speak to –"

"Uncle David!"

"Ah, well, here she is! Just the person – oh, the two persons I wanted to see."

"Uncle? David?" Carter gaped, as Deb hugged the older doctor. "Deb, you know Doctor David Sands?"

"'Course! He practically raised me…"

Carter collected himself and blinked twice. "Oh, I didn't realize…I…"

"Oh, Carter, you look like a guppy… Close your mouth," Deb laughed.

"It's just, Dr. Sands…"

Jing-Mei ignored the gaping Carter and turned Uncle David to Weaver. "Kerry Weaver. David Sands. Uncle David, Kerry Weaver, Chief of the ER."

Dave came up to the desk and leaned over to Carter, asking what was going on. "That's David Sands, standing in our ER."

"God, Carter, who the hell is David Sands. You're acting as if Messiah just descended from Heaven."

"Yeah, well, to me, the Messiah just did. You don't know Dr. Sands?"

"No, never heard of him."

"Boy, you are –"

"Aw, Carter, leave Dave alone, will you?" Deb said, as Mr. Sands had just escorted Dr. Weaver back in the direction of her office. They were talking fervently about something.

"Hey, you're one to talk. You're the one who just lashed out at me fifteen seconds ago."

"Well, am I now? No, so don't complain." She said with a grin on her face.

Carter stared at Deb. "Deb, how could you not tell me you personally knew Doctor Sands?"

"What's it to you? Even if I did, it's not like I could make him give you a refresher course on…ugh…whatever…"

"No, but –"

"Yeah, yeah, he's my Uncle."

"Blood?"

"What do you think, Carter?"

"Jeez, I don't know. I mean, you never know these days."

"By marriage. My aunt was disowned for marrying him."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's fine now. I mean, he is the renowned Dr. Sands, right? At that time, he was just a measly Resident-Med Student."

Carter laughed, "Oh, really? We really that bad?"

"According to my family, yeah…but…"

"So, why climb from the bottom up. Why don't you utilize this esteemed connection of yours? I mean, Dr. Sands is on the Board of Trustees for both Stanford U. and Hospital. Why don't you get out of this hellhole and become Chief of ER at Stanford, huh?"

"Well, why don't you donate a million or two to County and the Board will gladly replace Romano with you. Sure'd save you a lot of grief."

"Hey, hey," Malucci cut in, "Are we having a real brat conversation here, cause if we are, I'm hauling ass."

"Yeah, get outta here, Dave. This is Real Brats of County Unite!" Jing-Mei faked a "Ra-Ra" cheer.

Carter watched Dave run off and turned to Deb. "Yeah, but here we are, still at the bottom of the totem pole and barely hanging on…"

"Hey, speak for yourself. I'm taking the initiative."

"Why? Going off to be Chief of Staff?"

She waved him off. "Heh, none of your business, Carter. By the way, why don't you try the patient in Curtain 3. I heard Malik saying she was a real bodacious blonde. I think you'll like her, Carter," she said, flashing him a two thumbs up and disappearing behind a mass of gurneys and people rushing about.

"Hey, Carter," Abby called from inside one of the supply closets. She was stacking some blankets. "Maybe Kerry will give you the Chief Res position now that she's out of options, so you won't have to run off to Northwester."

Carter narrowed his eyes and chuckled, "Abby, you know I'm out already, cause of the drug thing, so…"

"Yeah, but haven't you heard?

Carter shook his head.

"I guess not, but uh, Dr. Chen's leaving County. She's not coming back in the fall."

"What?" Carter started, nearly knocking over a glass of cotton swabs. "But why would she do that? I mean, she's doing so well here, and she's a shoo-in for Chief Res. I mean, why would she –"

"Maybe she got a better position at Stanford?"

"Stanford? That's where she's going? But that's –" Then it dawned on him. Doctor Sand's visit. Kerry's rampage. Deb - But Deb, she' couldn't leave unless… "Did she get an attending position?"

"I don't think so," Abby said, tilting her head slightly, "Probably Chief Res. I think that's what I heard."

"Did Dr. Chen tell you?"

"Nope, Kerry did. I thought she might have told you first, since now she'll have to appeal tot he Board to give you the position. I mean, who else could do it? Malucci?" She sighed, touching him lightly on the arm. "Besides, if you were leaving, who could I go to with all my problems? You understand me most." Carter looked into her eyes, as her hold on his arm tightened slightly, as if saying, "We're like one." He knew that this was the perfect opportunity to just tell her – to tell her how he could never get her out of his mind, how he dreamt about her at night, how he longed to reach out and caress her face and lips, how he – But he just couldn't stop thinking about Deb and how far away she was going, about… _I mean, now who could he go to with his problems? Who could he complain and whine to? Who could he crack jokes with? And who could give him the half-smiling, half-reassuring grins he needed?_ "Carter, Carter, are you alright?" Abby shook him.

"Huh, yeah, Abby. Say, have you seen Dr. Chen around?"

Abby looked confused. She had expected him to respond to her, well, opening up to him, but obviously, his mind was elsewhere. "I think she went for a walk along the river. The little girl raping case really took some of her wind." She watched for his reply, then added, "We are still on for tonight, right?"

"I, uh, sure, ummmm…. I'll talk to you later then," he said, hurrying out of the closet.

Abby shook her head and sighed.

Carter looked around the area and saw Jing-Mei standing against the railing, watching the water lap along the shore. He called her name, but she didn't respond. He ran up to her and holding her by the shoulders, swiveled her around so that she was looking straight up at him. There was pain in her eyes.

"Deb, are you okay?"

She nodded and looked away. "I just can't understand why anybody would want to do that to a little girl."

"She's going to be okay, Deb. I checked on her before I came out here."

She swallowed hard. They stood there silently, both listened to the breeze meander through the trees, the water lapping. Then he turned her face toward him again. "Deb, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That you were leaving, going to Stanford."

"Why do you even care?" she said, shaking her head.

"You know I care… I mean, it would have been better if you had told me yourself. I mean, I had to hear it from Abby."

She tried to laugh through the tears that threatened to brim. "I think it's better you heard it from her. At least you guys will have something other than Kovac to talk about." She laughed again.

Carater watched her blinking and sighing. Even when she was aching, she always tried to joke with him and make him feel more at ease. He touched her face. "No, Deb, I'm serious. It would have been better if you have told me. I mean, I feel like I've lost a friend…you don't even confide in me anymore."

Jing-Mei shrank form his touch, her eyes darkening suddenly. She gasped, "You feel like you've lost a friend?"

"Yeah, I mean, you didn't even mention you were thinking about leaving – You completely –"

"You're the one who never comes to me anymore, Carter, not vice versa. I see you and Abby walking along this river all the time, laughing and giggling and discussing your respective problems. I mean, I know you like her and you want to spend time with her, but I… You never talk to me anymore." She looked away again.

"Yes, I do. Remember yesterday –"

"Yesterday, I was a last resort, remember? It just happened to be something you couldn't exactly gush to Abby about," she sputtered coldly.

"Hey," Carter said, narrowing his eyes, "don't forget I'm the one who approached you about his Stanford thing. I just wanted to know why you're doing it?"

"God, Carter, why do you care?"

"Because I'm your –"

"Trust me, Carter, you're no friend of mine. No friend would treat me the way you do."

"But you're the one who neglected to tell me you were –"

"Hey, but weren't you, too, considering leaving for Northwestern and you never even raised a flag. Don't be the pot calling the kettle black, okay, Carter? And of course, how interesting, again, that Abby was the first to know from you!"

"Deb, why are you acting this way? This is not you…"

"What do you know about me, Carter? What do you know about me, huh? Nothing!"

"You know what?" he said, raising his voice, "There's now way I can win with you. You always think you understand everything that's going on, that you're the victim here, that you're being wronged. Well, how do I know how you feel if you never tell me anything?"

"A friend knows."

"Look, why are you being like this? I came out here with good intentions, to see if you were okay, and now, you make me feel as though –"

"You know what, Carter? I'm the one leaving, okay? And actually, I'm sorta glad this discourse revealed what it did, because at least now I'll leave County, knowing I haven't left anything good behind."

She stalked off.

"Deb!"

"And stop calling me that! I hate that name! I hate you, and just leaving me alone!"

And Carter was left to figure out what the Hell had just happened.

Jing-Mei smashed her fist into the dashboard of her car, as she slowed to a stop outside her apartment complex. She felt warm tears running down her cheeks and watching through the film of tears at the rain drops hitting the windshield one by one. Her body shook as she laid her head down on the wheel and truly wept.

She couldn't understand what the Hell was wrong with her. She couldn't even figure out what the Hell had made her say those things to Carter. She had no idea why she felt so…so lonely and unwanted. The past few days, even Malucci had stopped flirting with her and frankly, she could admit it now, even his little come-ons now and then made her feel she was of some value to someone. And Carter she felt she had lost ever since she had returned from maternity leave. She thought about the day she had paged him to help her with the birth of her child, and he hadn't even hesitated. He was there for her, always, and she had just told him off. Jing-Mei brushed away her tears with one hand. No, she thought, he deserved it, because ever since Abby… Was she jealous of Abby? She had to admit that she didn't given two shits if Carter was obsessed with Abby, but she, Jing-Mei, needed his friendship, his companionship. She needed for him to be the crowning moments in her day. And she had lost him and his friendship, just because she couldn't sort out her losing her son, her stress trying to make up shifts, her leaving County, her rage at that damned rapist, her resentment of Abby, her envy of the happiness of others, everything that had ever made her miserable in her life she had unleashed onto the kind, unsuspecting Carter – the same man who had taken the time to see if she was okay, and she had given him anything but what she should have. She should have let him hold her as a parent cradles a child and let all her pain, stress, rage, and sorrow soak into that nice suit of his under that white lab coat. She should have just let him hold her and make her feel significant again. But she knew she had lost him. No person in he right mind could forgive the things she had said. She blinking and wept some more, telling herself that the best way was to avoid him. She sighed, deciding that it was, indeed, a good thing she was leaving County, so at least she would never have to remind herself everyday what an ass she could be. She cried some more.

Carter threw his keys onto the letter desk and sauntered to the sofa and plopped down, rubbing his head with his fingers. He pressed a button on his answering machine which was blinking the red light furiously.

BEEP!

"Hey, Carter, I've been paging you for the past five hours. Kerry's hella mad. It seems both you and Chen decided to depart without completing your evening shifts. I can't believe you did that… I mean, what the hell are you guys up to? Not doing the nasty, I hope… Well, come back soon, or I'll have to work double time."

BEEP!

"Hey, Moesha… Aw, shoot, this ain't Moesha's number… Eh, I'm sorry…"

BEEP!

"Hey, Carter, I thought we were meeting at 7:00. It's now 9:13. I hope everything's okay, 'cause, uh, I didn't see you around this evening. Leave me a message, okay? See you tomorrow."

BEEP!

Dead air and then a click.

Carter shed his coat and went to the kitchen for a beer. He drank it down with one gulp and sighed. He didn't know what he was going to do tomorrow. If that damned girl wanted him to leave her alone, he would do that all right. She had no right to burst out at him the way she did, but he just couldn't stop thinking about her and about what she had said. Had he really thrown a friend aside for the sake of the attentions of a girl who was already romantically attached? Had he really neglected her? He couldn't understand, but then again, she never tried – or even bothered – to explain. But he still couldn't help thinking that no matter what it would be so lonely without her around chastising him and criticizing him and laughing at him. But he knew he should know better than to approach her; he frankly didn't want to risk that rage again. But one thing was for certain – Abby definitely wasn't on her mind tonight. He sighed and gulped down another beer.


	5. A Bad Day

erfanfic.chap5

Disclaimer: I don't anything remotely ER.

Author's Note: I'm sorry if I'm making lots of mechanical mistakes. That's what happens when you type really late at night.

Chapter FiveA Bad Day

Carter had been wandering around the ER all day, completely stone faced. Abby had tried to talk to him a million times. She had been so sweet, so considerate, but he had waved her off, his mind still occupied with the discourse of yesterday. He shook his head. God! Why was the ER so damn cold today? Then he saw her, her one hand stuffed into the lab coat pocket, the other holding a patient file. She had her head buried there, obviously trying to diagnose a puzzling case. Then she looked up and saw him. Immediately, her eyes darkened and quickly, she swerved in her path and returned in the direction from which she came. Carter started to follow but stopped. Why should he be the one to apologize? She was, after all, the one who had lashed out at him when he had only wanted to console her and be there for her. She was the one who had to take the initiative and apologize first. He watched as she dumped the file at the front desk, glance at her watch, and look around, almost as if making sure he wasn't in the vicinity. She didn't see him standing behind a curtain watching. The ER felt deserted, as if telling Carter that this was his best chance to make up with her, but he stood fast, watching her grab her stuff from the lounge and shed that white lab coat of hers. She was wearing a long, clinging sapphire blue dress and had switched her shoes to glittering stilettos, probably Jimmy Choo. He saw Malucci make a quick pass at her asking her whether or not she needed a ride home. She shook her head, saying that she was going to a party. _Well, obviously_, Carter thought, _what else would she be doing in that outfit…_ Then Malucci asked if he could tag along. She replied that he could be her date. Dave was aghast, but Deb quickly told him she was joking. She laughed and took off, her heels clicking against the tiled hospital floor.

Carter followed a little later, making sure Deb hadn't seen him. Dave waved goodbye to him and soon, Carter found himself outside the ER doors, watching Jing-Mei walk toward the parking lot. But suddenly, she turned in her path, obviously remembering she had parked her car across the street today because somehow, today the parking lot and garage had been full. Carter watched her step into the street, her head buried in her small bag, obviously searching for her car keys, when suddenly, a car swerved out of one of the alleyways, trying to get away from the police car pursuing it. The car quickly accelerated and in an instant, before Carter could even shout out her name, he saw her body hit the car's windshield and roll off onto the paved street with a thud. He froze, not knowing whether to call her name or just shout. What had just happened? "Gurney! Gurney!" he cried, running into the ER. But when no one responded, he grabbed one and beckoned to Kerry who had just come out of Trauma 2. He didn't have time to explain, but she, seeing the urgency in his face, followed. He pushed the gurney quickly toward the street where the police car had stopped, as well as the other car – its driver obviously in shock. Carter gasped, feeling a lump in his throat, as he rounded the corner and saw her body – Deb's body – contorted and blood seeping from under that beautiful gown. He didn't even reach to see if she was breathing. He heard Kerry gasp as he quickly lifted Deb onto the gurney. Dave had rushed out the doors, too, to see what the commotion was about, and when the gurney was close enough for him to see, he, too, took a sharp intake of breath. Carter felt tears running down his face, but he didn't care. All he knew was that he had to get her to Trauma. Kovac rushed out of Trauma 2 when he saw the gurney roll in. Carter heard him swear, as he grabbed the gurney. They slipped on their gloves and Kerry asked Carter if he had witnessed the event. He nodded blindly, as they prepared to revive her, but the flatline beep was blaring in his ears. "Deb?" he whispered, as Kovac muttered that she was beyond reparation and smashed a tray. Kerry called for time of death. Carter began to see images of Lucy, strewn across the floor, blood drenched, but this time, it wasn't Lucy. It was Deb, and he hadn't even apologized when he could have just because of his damn pride. "Deb," he murmured again, as he saw them pull the white sheet over her contorted, broken, lifeless body. He crumpled to the floor.


	6. Restored

Disclaimer: I don't any of the characters

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

Author's Note: Everybody, go read Kristina's Jinter story called Feeling Normal at [http://ccer.topcities.com][1].It'll definitely be worth your time.But reading my story is good, too, for me, at least… Please read and review.

Chapter 6

"Deb!" Carter gasped, waking up from his torrent dream.

He had been sweating furiously, his pillows and sheets all soaked.Breathing harshly, he stared blindly at the Renoir print he had hung across from his bed.The colors were all a blur.He shook his head and grabbed his clock.2:57 it read in bright red.He looked out the window and saw the moon still hanging from its perch in the sky.Quickly, he reached for his phone, almost pulling the cord out of its socket.He punched in Deb's apartment number and held the receiver to his ear, hearing the phone ring, waiting for someone to pick up.Her machine did."You have reached the residence of Jing-Mei Chen.If you would like to – "Carter hung up and picked it up again, hitting redial.Finally, after the second ring, a sleepy voice answered, "Yes?"

Carter didn't say anything.She was there in her apartment, safe and sound.Not in a morgue.Not crumpled in a street somewhere.Not…

"Hello, who is this?" he heard her say, annoyed.

Carter couldn't say anything.Then he heard in the background a sleepy deep male voice drawl, "Who is it, Jing?Who the hell's calling at three in the morning?"Deb's reply was muffled.She had probably put her hand over the speaker.

"Who the hell is this?" came her voice again – in the same tone she had used earlier today."'Cause if you don't answer, I'm gonna hang up."The man in the background entreated, "Just hang up, Jing…" And with that, Carter heard an angry click and dead tone.

Carter hung up his receiver and sighed.He had just had this horrible nightmare after that horrible fight and while he was left to sulk in his own bed, she – that damned girl – had simply crawled into the arms of a man who could console her and let her cry on his shoulder.But she had every right.Carter could care less.After all, it was his own fault that he felt so strongly about the whole situation, that he felt so hurt after that fight.Well, she obviously had forgotten all about it…well, screw her!Why should he even care about her?Carter felt so embarrassed that he had, well, called when that man…ugh!That man's drawl annoyed him so…he felt like…he felt like…Why hadn't he, Carter, been sensible and kept his appointment with Abby?Why hadn't he kept it and told her how much he cared for her and how he, Carter was better suited for her than Kovac?Then maybe, just maybe, today, tonight, he, too, wouldn't have been so lonely.He felt back onto his pillow and stared blankly at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep again.But he couldn't…or rather he didn't want to.Images of that contorted, lifeless body flashed before him again.Better not to sleep, he murmured to himself.Sitting up, he just stared at the Renoir until the colors were all a blur once again.

Deb pressed a button on the coffee maker but nothing happened.No whirring sound.No boiling sound.She sighed.Ugh! A doctor and I still can't make a simple cup of coffee.Too bad she had an early shift this morning, otherwise, maybe Tommy could have made some for her.Thank God Tommy had stopped by last night.And when he saw her red-nosed and puffy-eyed, he hadn't hesitate to lend a shoulder…and a lot more…It had happened so quickly, like that time with Frank…she just hoped that she wouldn't get pregnant…she was on the pill after all…but one never knew…But then again, unlike Frank, Tommy Leung was someone her mom would love to make one of the family.Not only had Deb played with him as a child in Macao, but his father ha millions, or was it billions, to throw around.She hit the coffee maker again.Damn! She needed her coffee; she was so tired, especially after that night and it didn't help that some stupid caller had decided to wake her up at 3 in the morning.Coffee, coffee…She looked around the lounge, hoping someone had left a Starbucks Frapp around.No such luck.She needed her coffee…or was it that she just needed to forget, forget all the events of yesterday – the fight, Tommy…Suddenly, she heard the lounge door creak open, and she quickly turned to see Carter standing in the doorway.Obviously, God wanted her to remember…He saw her standing there and quickly, turned his head and backed ou of the room.Deb sucked in a big breath of air and mustering all her courage, ran to the door to stop him from leaving."Carter?" she whispered.

He looked at her, only saying, "I thought you wanted me to leave you alone, Jing-Mei."

It was Jing-Mei.She sighed and took a big breath again."Carter, I –"

"Shouldn't I just tell you to save it, Jing-Mei?I mean, that's the same courtesy you allowed me…me being such a horrible friend and all."

Deb swallowed hard.She knew she had to follow through with this.She had to say it, even if he chose not to listen.But it was true.She hadn't even given him a chance to explain yesterday; she had just shut him up and told him off.She had been the horrible friend.It was times like these that made Deb feel so inferior compared to Carter, times when it was blindingly apparent that he was the better person, even if he pretended to not be.Because no matter how he pretended, he would still let her speak and he would still listen."Carter, you've been and you'll always be infinitely my superior.I had no right to accuse you of being a bad friend, because there's only one thing you've been this whole time – a perfect friend – ever since I came back.And I don't deserve a friend like you."She shuffled her feet nervously.

He still didn't look at her but his tone was lighter."Jing-Mei, I just wish you'd tell me when you feel I'm neglecting you…I mean, then I would know I was being a bad –"

"But you were never a bad friend, Carter.It's just that with all these things rushing through my head – and all things I can't readily discuss or vent – I bottled them up and made myself miserable.Then I saw you and Abby, laughing and happy – and I couldn't help feeling terribly envious.I wanted to be the one laughing with you, and I completely forgot that I couldn't because I was keeping things from you and not you from me."She was chewing her bottom lip. 

Carter chuckled lightly. "Terribly envious, eh?I didn't know I was such a hot commodity…"

"John…"

"And me infinitely superior to you?Wow, I like that one…"

"John…"

"Okay, okay…," he said, laughing, "I just think it's so funny, Deb, you calling me 'infinitely superior.'Wait, it is okay if I call you Deb, right?"

She nodded and felt hot tears brimming in her eyes.God, why was she crying?

"Oh, Deb, don't cry…" he embraced her and held her close.How did he always know exactly what she needed?

"I was just so worried you wouldn't accept my apology after I had been so terribly…terribly…"

"Right, but remember I am the better person…" He said, wiping her tears away with his finger."You gonna be okay?"There was that goofy smile again.

"Thank you, Carter," she murmured.

"Deb?" he said, holding her again."Can you tell me why you're leaving?"

"Another time maybe," she muttered into his shirt, then added, "and Carter, could you, uh, help me make some coffee?"She felt like such a baby.

Carter drew back from her, laughing."Ms. Stanford Chief Res can't even make coffee.You think the Board will reconsider?"

"You tell them and I'll kill you," she replied, eyeing half-seriously.

"Ooooh," he said, grinning nefariously and tapping his fingers together, "Blackmail material…"

"Fine, fine.I'll pay you in chicken nuggets, 'kay?"

"How 'bout Big Macs?"

"Fine."

"You're on…" then he added, "But don't think this exonerates what you did yesterday."

"I know, I know, but you're the better person, remember?You'll just have to forgive me."

He chuckled and grabbed her, giving her a noogie."We'd better get out there before Kerry fires us both…but then again, that doesn't matter for you, huh?"

"Course it does.Then I'll be just as bad as you."

Carter hit her playfully on the shoulder.

"Hey, I need my coffee!"But Carter had hit her again, and she stumbled out of the lounge, her laugh ringing along the corridor.

   [1]: http://ccer.topcities.com/



	7. Swing

Disclaimer: They belong to them, not to me

Disclaimer: They belong to them, not to me.

Author's Note: This next chapter is rather poorly written.Just a warning to all of you peeps looking for great Pulitzer Prize winning literature.I'm just letting the dialogue speak for itself.

Chapter 7

THE NEXT DAY (after the last chapter…)

"Ba buh buh Ba Ba," Carter hummed to himself, tapping his pen in time with his inner beat.He stepped behind the front desk and studied the board."Hmm…I think I'll take the leg wound…"

"No, I called dibs," Malucci said, picking up the file.

Carter shrugged his shoulders."Fine by me," he surveyed the board again, "Chest pain then…don't tell me you've got that one, too."

Malucci laughed, "No way.Eh, I can't believe you didn't fight me for the leg wound."

"Why would I?" Carter took the respective file and began humming again, swaying back and forth.

The nurses were watching him from a distance.

"What has gotten into Carter?"

"I don't know, but today, he insisted he do all the 'nurse duties' himself and told me to catch a break."

"Whatever it is, it's weird."

"Yeah, almost as weird as Benton cracking a smile."

"Tell me about it."

"Look at the way he's moving…"

"It must be the love bug."

"Or just plain psychosis…"

"Hey, Abby, you know him best.Why don't you go ask?"

"Nuh-uh, it's none of our business really."

"I know, let's start a pool."

Beat.

"Hmm….I'll give it a shot.New girlfriend – younger and sexier than Rena."

"Definitely drugs."

"Sex.One night stand."

"Oh, come on, doesn't that fall under girlfriend?"

"Nope, just plain old sex."

"Crazy."

"Weaver died."

"Very funny.Then Malucci would be having the love fest, not Carter."

"Whatever," Haleh said, turning to Abby.She nudged the girl in Carter's direction.

Abby gave them all a death glare, and heaving a frustrated sigh, walked over to Carter and started talking to him.

"You think she's gonna get it out of him?"

"You know how Carter feels about Abby.One bat from her pretty brown lashes and he's out."

They were still talking."Doesn't seem like he's telling her."

"Hey, you guys, whatcha looking at?" Deb said, walking up to the huddled group. 

"Pool, Why Carter's so damn happy today.I mean, it's raining and icky outside, and he's running around being Mr. Sunshine.How he managed that I know not."

"Hmmm…sounds interesting. Maybe I'll give it a whirl.What's been said already?"

"New girlfriend.Drugs.Sex.Psychosis.Weaver died."

Deb laughed."Let's see…I'd have to say…hmm…that he went bowling last night, ate lots of unhealthy, greasy food, drank lots of beer, and listened to lots of swing songs."

The nurses gave Deb a weird glance."That's just random…"

"Whatever.I just came up with whatever seemed like Carter.Oh my gosh, are you guys seeing what I'm seeing?"

"Hell yeah, and I'm definitely pooling on the psychosis one."

Carter had just grabbed Abby by the arm and was swinging with her.Abby was laughing nervously, hoping that no one would notice the rather odd spectacle.The dancing couple.Unfortunately for her, all eyes were on them.Even the patients in chairs were watching the funny couple dancing a really bad jitterbug in the middle of County General.The nurses were aghast.Deb was laughing.And Carter was oblivious, goofy smile plastered on his face, leading Abby from one step to the next, swinging her from one side to another, twirling her under his arm.It was a Carter like no other.Finally, he let go of Abby and practically skipped off to Exam Room 3 to check on his Chest Pain Guy, amidst the scattered applause of the ER.Abby sauntered over to the huddled group, still a little dizzy from all the whirling.

She giggled, half-embarrassed, half-amused."Whoa!That was really something."

"Tell us about it."

"I haven't done swing since seventh grade."

"Ah, who cares about swing?Why's Carter so crazy today?"

"It's not what any of you suspected."

"Then what is it?"

"He went bowling last night, ate lots of junk food, drank lots of beer, and listened to lots of swing songs."Everybody turned to stare at Deb who was laughing again. 

"Stop gaping like that…now, let me take my money," she said, digging into the jar Haleh was holding to remove her spoils."What a lucky guess!"

Abby chuckled."You got it?"

Haleh narrowed her eyes."Yeah, practically exact words."

"Hey, how did you –" But Deb had already split with her money before anyone could question her.Abby left to help Kovac who was calling to her.After she had gone, the whole group burst into a frenzy.

"Don't tell me…either Carter told Chen first or…"

"Or she was there with him last night…"

"Like a date?"

"Oh my gosh…"

"Yeah, but I thought…"

"Abby.Yeah, I know…so it's can't be a date…"

"But I don't know…"

"After that swing thing, nothing will surprise me."

"Nope, not at all."


End file.
